I was born into a very loving family with parents and one sister. When I was fourteen, my mother died unexpectedly. At that point in time I figured…that the world and everyone in it, whoever made it, couldn’t care less about me.
In middle school I started self-mutilation. To this day I have 300 scars all over my body along with 300 more regrets to go with it. After that it progressively got worse. I was desiring more and more of what this world had to offer and not my creator. I started using alcohol, then weed, and then intravenous drugs. The reason at those times was simple. I wanted to forget about my mom and whatever came after death. I was scared to die. After my mom did I realized of how much of a miracle it was for me to still be living. But I didn’t want to think of those heart-wrenching things.
My drug usage was so bad. I started to turn into some other person: a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde kind of thing. I stole from anyone and everyone I loved. I lied to every one of them as well and became homeless. I slept behind gas stations, sold my body to get drugs and hurt everyone because (I thought), “They would hurt me first.”
I was filled with hate, lust, and a poor broken spirit. I saw and did things you probably would never believe, but trust me…I’m okay with that.
I grew up in a household that loved me, but I pushed them away because I didn’t believe in this God of the bible like they did. And plus I was living the “gay-lifestyle” and I thought God and His Son hated those kind of people.
It wasn’t until April 13, 2012 when I had planned my suicide attempt at the Merle Hay Mall that I got arrested for stealing clothes and they caught me on camera doing it.
I was in jail sobering from my 8 year drug usage. It was the most TERRIBLE thing, but yet the most gracious blessing in disguise. I am so thankful I went to jail because…when I went there I was “witnessed” to by a Chaplain named Tony. He told me about forgiveness and repentance then showed me how I’ve sinned and offended such a holy God. I was ashamed. Then he said the most beautiful thing…”But God…” I was a sinner, living for my flesh…but God gave His one and only begotten Son and by grace through faith in Him, Jesus Christ, I have been saved. Am I perfect? No. Do I stumble still? Yes! But guess who lifts me up when I do? Jesus Christ and the believers who follow Him.
After 6 months in jail and 64 days of rehab, and being in a homeless shelter for a month I found out about the Promise House and Freedom for Youth Ministries. And guess who the House Parent is at the Promise House? Tony…the Chaplain who witnessed to me in jail!!! Praise God and His plan for my life. I have come a far way from where I used to be and I would be nothing and nowhere if it weren’t for Jesus who saves.
I have learned a lot about this Creator of ours and I willingly have submitted to my Lord Jesus Christ. Amen, Amen!!!